It’s been a while since I posted. I’d like to think it’s because I was in school this past year working hard toward obtaining my certification in medical billing and coding, but I think part of that absence was based on fear. When you’re a writer and you also need to have a day job for a living, there’s a temptation to think, “Am I doing the right thing by writing even though I need to focus on my regular career?” The essay I wrote for a future issue of Voices! addresses this very topic. Please read on below.
Why should I feel guilty about doing something that brings me joy?
In September 2023, I decided to go back to school to become a certified medical biller and coder. I’d been out of work for a year prior to my return to college, and I was fed up trying to find employment in fields outside of medical and general transcription. Simply put, nothing was working, and I felt lost and confused. I had many qualifications that would put me in good stead with the right company or organization, but nothing was clicking. So back to school I went, and for the most part, it was a tremendously positive experience. I received high marks in my classes, but more importantly, the subject matter was engaging and allowed me to expand my skillsets in several different ways. Much later, I realized that going back to school also restored my confidence in seeking out and completing challenging tasks, an important factor since looking for work was one of the major stumbling blocks I still faced.
Yet despite restoring my confidence, one of the things that bothered me during this period was that I was not necessarily focusing as much attention on my writing as I thought I should. I knew that I needed to find a day job commensurate with my talents and abilities, and certainly medical billing and coding would be an appropriate choice for me to pick. But the one thing you sacrifice toward learning a new skill is time, and in going back to school, I knew that I might not work as hard toward being a professional writer. This turned out to be the case. My blog was put on the back burner, and most of my writing consisted of me either posting answers on Quora or occasionally working in my journal. Looking back at the progress on my blog, it bothered me how long the intervals were between posts. It wasn’t until I finished up with most of my schoolwork that I realized I needed to be more forgiving to myself.
Even when I started worrying about the times between writing gigs, I’d remind myself that at least some of my skills had been enhanced through creating essays for my classes. In fact, those reports were often the most enjoyable assignments I had since they allowed me to be creative. Furthermore, in my coding class, my public speaking skills came to the fore. For the first two terms, as a final project, my teacher had us create videos describing how we would code for different diseases or conditions. I jumped at the opportunity since this utilized my writing and public speaking talents in an educational manner. In short order, I created videos about coding for AIDS as well as Moebius syndrome, the condition that caused my face to be paralyzed since birth. Both videos received high marks, and my teacher asked me permission to use the video about Moebius as an example to show future coding students. In addition, it turned out that my teacher had been in Toastmasters previously and thoroughly enjoyed my work as a speaker, even suggesting that I use my talents to help create voiceover work for other coding videos. Thanks to her advice, I plan on following up on this lead very soon.
Whenever you’re dealing with members who are struggling with their educational goals, it’s important to remember that many times they will be facing similar situations of how to tackle speeches or participate in meetings. A lot of times, these members may be dealing with fear or guilt in not being able to participate fully because they’re too nervous to ask for help. At other times, life gets in the way and makes it harder for the members to be as active in their clubs as they’d like. Learning to respect the needs of those members as well as finding ways for them to feel as though they’re part of the group, even if they don’t always feel like participating, is crucial to their social and educational development. A lot of times, newer people may feel as though they need to mind the gaps and avoid doing something that would be potentially embarrassing or humiliating for them. Taking the time to mentor our members and ensure that they have a safe space to practice their skillsets allows them to take further risks and work through their doubts.
My educational journey was enjoyable and helped me build confidence in finding work in another field. However, I also noted that even though I worked hard toward defining the skills which would allow me to be employable, I also needed to be focused on my own talents that worked well for me and in the process work past the belief that I shouldn’t have a job I enjoy. Thankfully, I received some surprising support from my teachers which allowed me to find new opportunities in my day job as well as my avocations. Ideally, you should never feel guilty about doing something you love. Even if you need to take some time away from your passion, you may find some surprising benefits from working in other fields that can add value to your craft in the long run.
Freedman on the Go 